Toilet Talk

If you looked at my 6-month recap post you may have noticed that I got some life advice while sitting in a toilet stall in Thailand.  You may have also noted that I was practicing my photography while sitting toilet stall in Thailand. I’m not embarrassed to say that I took my fancy Canon camera into that feces cubical on purpose. In fact, I repeated this seemingly juvenile documentation a few times while there. Pictures speak a thousand words, so I am presenting you with these examples….

 Toilet Talk- Chiang Mai Instructions

Exhibit A- an easy to read tutorial on the steps one should take while ridding themselves of waste that was inside a stall in Chiang Mai. This girl really knows how to get in and get out.

 Toilet Talk- My Toilet Nightmare

Exhibit B- this is just bizarre. For one, I understand that Eastern toilets work very differently than our western thrones, but were there actual toilet accidents caused by people climbing up and popping a squat? Then there is the melodramatic toilet paper disposal instruction. Sure, if a good number of restroom patrons all decided to birth alien babies in a single night this could be an issue for days. But usually if one person flushes the paper down, then the clog is immediate and 1 plunging session away from being remedied. But then there is the grand finale- Ghost? Person wearing a pillowcase? Some kind of toilet monster/man/ghost? What the f*ck is that thing!???? Its only purposes for being in this world are taking over as the new star of my nightmare and repeating the previous bin discussion.

 Toilet Talk- Krabi Airport Toilet PSA

Exhibit C- now this is how you give the public a PSA on toilet etiquette. We have pictures for those of us who can’t read Thai or even begin to understand the logic behind those swirls. On top of that, all the important guidelines for celebrating the porcelain gods are included. And this was all done without a toilet ghost scarring you into using the trashcan. Krabi International Airport has mastered the toilet situation.

Anyways, because there are toilet stalls all over the world that grab my attention, I might make this a semi regular feature. Laurenzo Shulzini is meeting me in May to help gather the remainder of my belongings from storage (aka- my parents’ garage). We’ll be loading up a Uhaul and road tripping back to Denver. So, there will definitely be a good bit of restroom action as we make our way through Arkansas, Oklahoma, Kansas, & Colorado. Stay tuned.

Summary- I have a healthy(?) curiosity with toilet stalls. 

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6 Months in 6 Minutes or Less

 

 

While I was busy not blogging, I was making the most of life in Indonesia and Thailand. From teaching Kindergarten to laying in the sun to wrecking my motorbike to staring at beautiful men, I was living right.

But, in no particular order, over the last six months…….

Bali- I made friends

An Australian, an Englishman, an American, and a Swiss-alian used a small coffee shop called Kopi Desa as their living room.

Bali- I got paid in Bananas

Mirjam and I got paid in Bananas. She taught our Kopi Desa mom how to make potato salad. I just photographed the process.

Bali- It was beautiful

The Gili Islands were beautiful.

Bali- A building watching me

A building was always watching me.

Bali- Buddha was hiding

Buddha hid under a tree.

Bali- Leo played guitar

Leo played guitar.

Bali- I met another American

I met another weird American and her name was Sarah AND I actually liked her.

Bali- These people became my family

These people became my family.

Thailand- there was a boat in Bangkok

A boat went down the river in Bangkok.

Thailand- the sun came up in Bangkok

The sun came up in Bangkok.

Thailand- I peed in this

I peed in this toilet on a shaky old train going through the mountains of Thailand.

This Australian guy hates wearing shirts.

This Kiwi disguised as an Australian dude didn’t wear shoes or a shirt…and he still got service.

Thailand- I took a selfie

I took a selfie.

Thailand- things got weird

This.

Thailand- I ate fried bugs

I ate 1 cockroach and a few grasshoppers.

Thailand- bathroom doors were wise

I got some life advice from a toilet stall door.

Thailand- a Chinese tourist were stupid

A man held a Blowfish and a Chinese tourist was a fool.

Bali- It was very pretty

There were many lily pads.

Bali- Jo and I became floating heads

Jo and I became floating heads.

Bali- there were several ceremony parades

There were many ceremonies.

Bali- I showered and peed here

I peed AND showered here.

Bali- I slept here

I slept here.

Bali- a monkey attacked Jo

A monkey stole a water bottle.

IMG_0947

There was a secret door.

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Roosters hung out in baskets. They would later go with my host family’s Grandfather to cock fights.

IMG_1239

Jo died, we took her body to a natural hot spring with us, and played Weekend at Bernies. (Jo didn’t actually die)

Bali- I road a bicycle around an entire island

Mirjam and I rode bicycles around an entire island. (it was only 7km total)

Bali- a clever pirate ship was flying above me

A sneaky pirate ship floated in the sky.

Bali- I laid in a bed with these ladies and had a martini

5 women laid in a bed on the beach and drank a martini.

Bali- I haggled with a small child

I haggled on the price of a bracelet with a 4-year-old.

Bali- I gave the boy I haggled with a high five

I gave said child a high-five.

Bali- these kids attacked me with paint

These gorgeous children attacked me with paint.

Bali- I taught kindergarten to the most gorgeous children in the world

I got bullied.

Bali- I played duck-duck-goose

I played duck-duck-goose and lost.

Bali- I taught kindergarten to the most gorgeous children in the world

I taught the most beautiful children in the world.

Bali- I taught kindergarten to the most gorgeous children in the world

No, seriously the MOST beautiful kids.

Bali- a portrait of me was drawn that resembled an ugly man with a bad mustache

A portrait was drawn of me that resembled an ugly man with a bad haircut and mustache.

Bali- another portrait of me was drawn that resembled Edward Scissorhands

Another portrait was drawn of me that resembled Edward Scissorhands.

Bali- I road on a skinny boat

I got up at 5am and took a ride on this skinny boat.

Bali- I road on a skinny boat

It was worth it.

Bali- it was worth waking up at 5am

Yep, TOTALLY worth it.

Bali- two volcanoes erupted in Indonesia while I was there

2 volcanoes erupted while I was in Indonesia….kids were going to school.

Bali- I was attacked by children with paint

Did I mention I got attacked?

Cupit BBQ- eat the best ribs in Bali, get thanked in every language, and save a life.

I ate the most amazing ribs ever prepared, got thanked in every language, and saved lives. (if you’re ever in Bali, go to Cupit BBQ)

A South African, a Swiss-alian, an Englishman, and an American walk into a bar....

I got adopted by my Bali Mum. She’s the one on the far left.

Also, a South African, a Swiss-alian, an Englishman, and an American walked into a bar….

Bali- I taught kindergarten to the most gorgeous children in the world

Also, did I mention I taught the most beautiful children in the world?

Bali- I taught kindergarten to the most gorgeous children in the world

IN THE WORLD.

Bali- things got weird

Things got weird.

Bali- a man carried some sticks

A man carried sticks.

Bali- Xmas happened

Xmas came and went.

Bali- American Thanksgiving happened thanks to my Australian and English friends

American Thanksgiving was observed thanks to my English and Swiss-alian friends.

My other Bali family

These people also became my family.

Bali-  Mirjam & I got bored and things got really weird

Volunteers got bored.

Bali- this woman rocked a huge hat

This woman rocked a GIANT hat.

Thailand- there was some dang Thai food

I ate some dang Thai food.

Thailand- a lived in a computer background

I lived in what appeared to be a giant computer background.

Thailand- I hung out with a man who possible models for romance novel coversI got to take a ride on THIS boat. Anyone who appreciates the male body appreciates this moment in my life.

fabulously awkward girl and her little brother

I returned to the US and saw my little brother.

I received a belated Xmas present

I received a belated Xmas present. (Santa brought me a Nice Jewish Guys calendar. Awesome.)

THE END.

Summary- You should be jealous of the last six months of my life.

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I Didn’t Blog in Bali…not even a little.

Well, my 5 months of volunteering (and exploring and eating and loving and sunning…) has already come to an end. I’m now back in the good ole’ USofA and have begun my new life in Colorado. You may have noticed that despite what I said in a previous post, I did not keep you updated on Fabulously Awkward- village edition. I’m sorry for letting you down but life is tough, so pick yourself up and move on. As you also might have guessed, stable Internet wasn’t really part of remote village life so there’s my excuse.

I’m putting together a little Buzzfeed style list to cover all of the highlights of my adventures and- for real this time- I’ll be posting that in the next few days.

In the mean time, take a moment to appreciate the beauty of my favorite lady in the village where I lived…

Beauty, Indonesia, Bali, Village

No, seriously, take a good look at this fantastic example of a great human….

Beauty, Indonesia, Bali, Village

She’s beautiful, has excellent fashion sense, & carries her money in the giant gauge in her ear, so you know she’s a girl who doesn’t f*ck around. ON TOP OF ALL THAT, every time I would say hello to her she would immediately start going on and on to me in Balinese. Because I do not speak Balinese, I would just try my best to get a grasp of our conversations. This situation usually resulted in me responding to her in English and, despite the fact that she did not speak English, it never fazed her a bit. Who knows what all I talked about with Miss Penestanan. Who cares. Every word she spoke couldn’t have been anything less than perfection.

Beauty, Indonesia, Bali, Village

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