Hot Yoga = Hot Mess

Yoga is a practice that demands all of your grace, balance, and coordination work together as one glorious machine. HA!

I’m not trying to be cute. Sure, Jennifer Lawrence can get away with falling at the Oscars while still being adorable- duh! I cannot. Anyone who has spent more than an hour with me can tell you that I rarely walk without ending up with a bruise somewhere.

Anyways, today, after spending some time getting back in “Namaste shape,” I had the courage to rejoin a class that had defeated me back in May…. It was hot, but I was hydrated. The class was long, but I had stretched. Every other person in the class was 40+, and I STILL got my ass, breath, and brain handed to me (see below).

workout, gym, selfie, sunglasses, awkward

If you look closely you can see that every inch of me is soaking wet with sweat, toxins, and who knows what else…

So, if you’re feeling down on yourself today, Bookmark this post and refer back as needed.

Summary- Breathing, stretching, and balancing at the same time can be tricky. 

My Little Brother is a Doppelgänger

It’s Monday, I’m feeling lazy, and you’re probably bored at work. So, I want to keep it simple and just show you an image… The picture below compares Josh Hartnett‘s character, Ethan Chandler, from Penny Dreadful with a recent photograph of my younger brother.

doppelganger, penny dreadful, ethan chandler, family, doppelgänger, folklore, character, celebrity

Weird, right?

Anyone else out there a Doppelganger? Let me know!

Summary- Now that Josh Hartnett is sporting questionable facial hair, he could pass as my relative. 

Leslie Jordan Wished me Happy Birthday on a Car Wash Receipt

I have no doubt that you all have heard of the great Mr. Leslie Jordan…YOU KNOW, that tiny, fabulous old queen that has made his way into our hearts and homes through shows like Will & Grace, Boston Legal, American Horror Story, Raising Hope, etc……

Still having trouble recalling his adorable face?

This should help.

gin, regret, karen, willandgrace, funny, queen

Yes, this fabulous has a personality that makes you think he adorns all of his fingers with colorful rubies for people to kiss when greeting him at home. He’s also the man who has starred in such classic films as The Help, Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday, Eating Out: all you can eat, and Weird Science.

funny, red carpet, pink carpet, blue shoes

Keep being you, Leslie.

And on top of ALL THIS, he had the honor of meeting my dear Uncle, while running errands in Los Angeles last week…

Fabulously Awkwrad Girl Met Fabulously Awkward Leslie Jordan-My Life Down the Pink Carpet Cover

My mom’s brother has been living amongst the West Hollywood elite for over 30 years now, and usually leaves them be, but he knew that getting a note from one of my all-time favorite old queens would make my day. So, he bothered the actor for a signature.

Proof-

autograph, willandgrace, funny, bright, fish, birthday

“Elizabeth! Happy B day! Leslie Jordan “‘Will and Grace’”

Yep, Leslie Jordan personally wished ME “happy birthday” on the back of a Santa Palm Car Wash receipt. This (obviously) means that I’m better than most of humanity and can count on my 27th year to be EXTRA fabulous…that or extra short and overly pretentious….we’ll see!

Frances Conroy, Leslie Jordan, Myrtle Snow, American Horror Story, Witches

Summary- I just got starstruck from a signature & have to take a 2 week vacation from judging people for regularly reading tabloids. 

 

My Fabulously Awkward Apartment is Under Construction

Hola readers! Apologies for my absence, but my fabulously awkward Mum has been visiting for the last week and helping me finish the grand apartment design.

Because I did not have the time or desire to design a proper construction sign, here is me with a superimposed hat informing YOU that my design series is not over. There will be an unveiling sometime next week.

Sombrero, Funny, Lime Green, Beer, Dance

Much love to you all on this lovely Thursday!

 

Summary- when I did a Google image search for “construction hat” a sombrero was the 2nd image to come up.

WTF Wednesday- ELouise’s Little Studio in the Big Green House Pt. 2

Today was reserved for my ongoing design project. Did I hang pictures on the wall? Absolutely not. What did I do? I read 9 issues of The Etude music magazines published in 1941. W.T.F.

(Warning- Sh*ts about to get weird)

BEHOLD a handful of the countless highlights from these periodicals!

Music, Magazine, Vintage, Strange, Funny, Design, Shabby Chic, creepy, baby, instruments

Yes, that is a baby on top of what appears to be most of a brass section. What happened to the band that went with it? Only he knows. 

Vintage, Magazine, Music, Hitler, Beethoven, Weird, Funny

Short answer- No.

Music, Magazine, Vintage, Strange, Funny, Design, Shabby Chic

No worries, folks, summertime is Vacation Tempo time with The Etude.

pretentious, funny, Music, Magazine, Vintage, Strange, Humor, Design, Shabby Chic

Rich people love music.

Music, Magazine, Vintage, Strange, Funny, Design, Shabby Chic, piano, creepy, weird

This girl is every young piano student’s nightmare. I know, because I lived it.

And this leads me to the grand finale of today’s post…..a tale as old as time…..

Scary, Weird, Awkward, Music, Magazine, Vintage, Strange, Funny, Design, Shabby ChicI feel like the writer knows my soul. Give me music or give me electroshock therapy! 

I find my grandmother’s collection of her monthly music treat to be equal parts upsetting, relatable, and pretentious. The combined emotions make for the most awkward rush I’ve had in years.

Now, anyone have ideas on how these beauties should be displayed? I’ve got 9 covers and plan to have all showcased. 

Summary- Planning media in 1941 must have been weird.

HAPPY MONDAY- Tuesdays Remind me of Kansas

green energy, roadtrip, funny, humor, fans, aliens, yoga, hot yoga

Mondays

 

Clean Energy, Funny, Random, Environment, Photography, Roadtrip, Inspirational

Tuesdays

Congratulations- we’ve made it through another Monday! I know what you’re thinking; Tuesdays aren’t THAT much better, right? WRONG.

Tuesday is similar to western Kansas. I know this because I’ve driven through Kansas twice this springMondays are a slow, painful drive through the eastern side of Dorothy’s home state. You know it’s coming. In fact, one’s dread prior to crossing into landscape-less land might be worse than the actual process of getting through it (not unlike Sunday evenings).

turbines, clean energy, green energy, roadtrip, funny, humor, fans, aliens

While driving through Kansas at sunset, my friend Lauren and I were able to see the sky provide a nice backdrop for these alien-looking fans.

It’s at this time that hope seems lost, when suddenly thousands of alien-like fans appear on the horizon. At first you might feel paranoid, especially if crossing this area at night, because all there is to see are thousands of red lights blinking across pitch-black skies. But, you soon realize that these wind farms are using the Great Plains’ flatness providing clean energy to our masses. I find this and my Tuesday are quite similar, because this weekday usually contains most of my positive thinking towards the workweek.

Summary- Wind farms are the best thing to happen around Kansas in centuries.